All Too Well
by DarkxHunter
Summary: Once upon a time, they were happy. Incredibly happy. Except he remembered his last love, and there wasn't anything she could do to stop the inevitable. He was just too broken, and she didn't have the heart to go on. So it ended. Except they both remember it all too well.


All Too Well

Disclaimer: I do not own Austin & Ally or "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift

Rating: High T for mentions of self-inflicted harm and suggestive themes

Genre: Angst/Romance/Tragedy

Summary: Once upon a time, they were happy. Incredibly happy. Except he remembered his last love, and there wasn't anything she could do to stop the inevitable. He was just too broken, and she didn't have the heart to go on. So it ended. Except they both remember it all too well.

**So, this story is quite the downer. And, although it is extremely sad, I think that it's one of my best works.**

**By the way, it might get a little confusing at some parts because I jump back and forth between times, so I made it in different fonts.**

_Italics + Underline= Song Lyrics_

**_Bold + Italics= After they broke up_**

_Italics= Before they broke up/flashbacks_

Normal= Present

* * *

_I walked through the door with you_

_The air was cold but something 'bout it felt like home somehow_

_And I left my scarf there at your sister's house_

_And you still got it in your drawer even now_

_A curly-haired brunette young woman walks through the door, laughing. A young blonde man soon follows, also laughing. A blonde woman rounds out the trio, clearly amused by the couple._

_"You two make such a weird couple," she says, shaking her head. The other blonde rolls his eyes and lightly shoves her as she closes the door._

_"Shut up, Abby," he groans. Sisters are so annoying._

_The brunette takes off her scarf and puts it on the coat rack, chuckling. "Austin, be nice. We _are_ kind of weird." Her sweet voice distracts him, and he gravitates over to her like a magnet. He wraps his arms around her, and Abby resists the urge to 'aw.'_

_"She called us weird, Ally," he mumbles. She rolls her eyes and gently slips out of his grip, causing him to pout. Ally shivers a bit because it's cold in the house, but something about it reminds her of home. Something warm and... pleasant. Maybe it's her blonde boyfriend standing next to her._

_"Do you guys want some hot chocolate?" Abby asks, making her way towards the kitchen. The couple both say yes, and she chuckles at the way their answers come out simultaneously. While she preps the hot chocolate, Austin and Ally sit on her couch and talk about random stuff. Everything from the weather to his sister's couch's pattern to what they ate for dinner last night._

_When Abby comes round, she sits down and sets down the tray of hot chocolates. All three grab a cup, sit back, and start chatting about whatever they can think of._

_Ally leaves before Austin, kissing him goodbye and apologizing yet again about her dad calling her back in._

_"It's alright," he smiles, and she returns the sentiment before hurrying off. It's only after she's gone that he realizes that she left her scarf behind. He considers giving it back, but quickly dismisses the idea. She has a bunch of scarves. Plus, this yellow one is his favorite. So he stuffs it in his jacket and tells his sister he's heading home._

_Once there, he walks toward his bedroom and stores Ally's scarf in one of his drawers, all alone. He smiles and shuts the drawer._

A crying blonde pulls open one of his drawers and sees that yellow scarf in there. He picks up the soft piece of cloth with trembling fingers and lifts it to his face. A tear falls onto the treasured stolen article of clothing as he breathes in deeply, lulled to a different place by its sweet, familiar scent.

_Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze_

_We're singing in a car, getting lost upstate,_

_The autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place_

_And I can picture it after all these days_

_Austin is sweet, that's for sure. He buys her a bouquet even though they're only meeting up to just hang out. She smiles and accepts it, humming happily as she puts them in water and a vase. Her doe eyes are absolutely happy._

_He surprises her by telling her they're going for a drive instead. When she asks where, he shrugs and says he doesn't know. Anywhere, really. She smiles and lets him lead her to his car._

_They sing along to the radio as they get lost in Los Angeles' busy streets. Then they turn to the countryside, and Ally smiles to herself, watching the golden leaves fall to the ground._

_**A petite brunette gazes longingly out her window, thinking back to that day. It was a long time ago, yet she can still picture it...**_

_And I know it's long gone_

_And that magic's not here no more_

_And it might be okay_

_But I'm not fine at all_

_**Those days were such a long time ago. They were happy- no, more than that. They were completely and utterly in love with each other. That's what it was: love, not happiness. Although, they were happy because people in love are happy.**_

_**But that love is long gone. It's replaced with heartbreak and sadness and bitterness, and that's what prevents them from getting back together. There are times where they meet, and they seem fine. There are other times where they glare at each other with so much hate that even complete strangers can guess their history together. And that's okay.**_

_**But she's not okay with it because it shouldn't be this way. They should still be together- but that's not her fault. It's his.**_

_'Cause here we are again on that little town street_

_You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me_

_Wind in my hair, I was there,_

_I remember it all too well_

_**A brunette stands on a street in town, sweets from a bakery in hand. Her purse is dangling on the same shoulder as the arm holding the treat-filled bag, and she has her phone in her free hand. She's dressed in a flowy plain white dress and a black shrug, paired with a black scarf with white polka dots. Sunglasses are perched on her nose despite the fact that it's a cloudy- and windy- day.**_

_**A blonde in a red convertible appears over the rise behind her, not that she notices. He, of course, recognizes her and is amazed by her choice of clothes because it's so different than usual. She takes off her sunglasses with her little finger and half-turns, finally noticing the blonde. He forgets everything as their eyes lock, his stunned, hers cool.**_

_**She purses her lips and swings her finger so that her sunglasses land in her bag. He nearly runs the red; his tires squeal as he comes to an abrupt stop. There are yells of protest from passerbys and pedestrians and people in other cars. But he's frozen as he watches her regard him for a moment, wind threading through her silky hair.**_

_**Then her eyes turn sad, hand going up to her lips. She kisses her fingers then blows it toward him, looking as if she wants to burst into tears. Then she spins on the heel of her sneaker (which somehow makes her and the dress look better) and walks in the opposite direction of him because she remembers it all too well. She remembers them all too well.**_

_Photo album on the counter_

_Your cheeks were turning red_

_You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed_

_And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the t-ball team_

_You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me_

_"Oh, what's that?" Ally asks, curiously, pointing to a book on the counter of the island surrounding Mimi's, Austin's mom, kitchen. The blonde woman smiles while her son's eyes go wide._

_"No!" Austin shouts at the same time Mimi delightedly says,_

_"That's Austin's book from when he was still a little boy! It's filled with pictures of him."_

_A mischievous smile spreads across Ally's face at the same time Austin's cheeks turn bright red. "Can I see?" She asks, innocently._

_His eyes widen. "No!" He once again shouts. Mimi lightly shoves him, smiling at Ally._

_"Of course!" She beams, picking up the sacred book. The first page is of Austin lying in a twin-sized bed, glasses on and pouting. Ally bursts out laughing. Austin moans and flops onto the couch, face-down._

_"You guys are terrible," he mumbles. Mimi and Ally exchange amused glances before looking through the book some more._

_"You look cute in glasses," Ally teases, spotting another picture of him with glasses on. He moans again, making Ally and Mimi giggle. _

_"Oh, and here he is on the t-ball team," Mimi nudges Ally excitedly, pointing to a picture of Austin at a field. Ally smiles, fondly. Aw. He looks so cute._

_"I regret ever getting on that team," Austin mutters, reluctantly sitting up. Ally turns to him, eyebrow arched. "It wasn't very fun," he elaborates. He pauses then grins. "I know something I'll never regret, though."_

_Ally turns to him, curiously. "What's that?"_

_He stands up and walks over to her. He leans down so their foreheads touch. "You," he smiles, angling his head so that he can kiss her. She blushes but kisses back, and Mimi coos from the sidelines. Kind of a moment-ruiner, but that's okay. They can make up for it later._

_And I know it's long gone_

_And there was nothing else I could do_

_And I forget about you long enough_

_To forget why I needed to_

_**She thinks back to that day... Oh, that day...**_

_"Austin, why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?" Ally asks the fuming blonde. He spins on his heel towards her, eyes blazing._

_"Why? Why am I making such a big deal?" He hisses. She shrinks back, eyes wide. He doesn't notice. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he growls, "You were flirting with him!"_

_Ally's eyes widen even more, and she remembers back to when Austin walked into that little café. She was talking to a guy- Ethan, was it?- but she definitely wasn't flirting with him. Austin had rudely interrupted their conversation and dragged her back to his apartment where he started ranting about her talking to that guy._

_"B-but... I wasn't!" Ally protests, shocked that he would even think that. He scoffs and starts pacing, eyes darting to her figure every few seconds._

_"Sure you weren't," he mutters after pacing around his living room twice. She starts sputtering incoherently, insulted by his distrust. _

_"Wha- Austin!" Her hand shoots out and stops his pacing. He snaps his head toward her, glaring, but her eyes just bore into his. "Do you really think that I would do something like that?" She asks softly with hurt evident in her eyes._

_As soon as he sees her hurt expression, he feels horrible, and all he wants to do is make her feel better. But he's never really had good control of his mouth, so instead of words of comfort, a grunt of, "Yes," slips out. He immediately regrets it when he sees her eyes widen._

_Tears start to gather in her doe eyes. She sniffles and lets him go, shivering and rubbing her arms like she's suddenly cold. "If you don't trust me... then how are we supposed to date?"_

_He isn't sure what happens next, but it's like he loses control of his body. He needs to strain his ears to hear the muffled words coming out of his mouth and is stunned by them._

_"I don't know! I can't trust you, and you proved that today! You know what? Maybe we _shouldn't _date."_

_She lets out a small gasp, and she looks like he just slapped her. She backs up, and her tears overflow, pouring down her face. His heart twists in pain at the sight._

_She numbly gathers her things, soft sobs emitting from her shaking body every few seconds. She walks toward the door, but before she leaves, she turns to face him, whispering, "Maybe we shouldn't." She pauses before murmuring, "Good-bye, Austin."_

_And then she's gone._

_He's frozen, staring at the door. He can only stare because he just chased away the girl that he loved. "Good-bye, Ally," he chokes out before breaking down into tears right there in the middle of his living room._

_**Everything that they used to be vanished when he walked into that café and saw her with that guy. She wasn't flirting- far from it, actually. She was actually asking how the food at that café was since it was her first time there. He started listing all of the good food on the menu (which was pretty much everything), and she was laughing because he apparently thought that everything was good. So that scene made Austin think that she was flirting. But she wasn't because she would never do that to him.**_

_**Unfortunately, there wasn't anything that could change his mind. She can tell because of the way his jaw was set and because his eyes were stony. He wasn't going to budge from his stance. And that's when she knew. She knew that they were over because he wasn't ever going to trust her.**_

_**So she left with her broken heart blowing away in the wind.**_

_**One day, she goes to Sonic Boom, and she actually has fun. It's fun because a lot of kids visit, and she's always loved kids. She forgets about the world as she shows four kids how to play guitar. Everything seems brighter and happier, and when she finishes teaching those kids, she can't even remember why she needed to forget about the world for a while.**_

_**So when she does, it hits her harder than ever.**_

_'Cause here we are again in the middle of the night_

_We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light_

_Down the stairs, I was there,_

_I remember it all too well_

_**Ally gives a grudging smile. "Yeah. I remember."**_

_**Austin smirks. They're not sure how it happened, but they both ended up volunteering at a local bakery for a day; and both of them have to stay to lock up. It's late at night by now, and the only light is coming from the open refrigerator door. The doors up front are locked, and they're staring at each other in the kitchen.**_

_**"You've always been a bad dancer," he snickers, mocking her awkward moves by performing one of them. Ally mock-gasps and slaps him on the arm, indignantly.**_

_**"Shut up!" She groans, pathetically, making him laugh. She huffs. "Besides, it's like this." She starts doing her infamous dance move consisting of foot stomping and spaghetti arms. Austin laughs even harder and doubles over, wheezing for breath.**_

_**"Stop... making... me... laugh!" He manages to say in between laughs and intakes of breath. Ally chuckles and stops doing her very bad dance move.**_

_**"Alright," she mutters. But then she leans down and whispers, "You're still not forgiven, Moon." She straightens and snatches her things off the counter, calling over her shoulder, "See you later."**_

_**Austin grimaces from her remark and sighs, kneeling down and craning his neck to watch her leave. She's still got nice legs, he muses, watching as she walks out the front doors.**_

_**He sighs and gets up, getting ready to close up. Why did they even trust them to lock up on time, anyway? Why did they even trust them to lock up?**_

_**The next day, he's hurrying to work, shirt on backwards, jacket half on, and hair severely messed up- and not in a good way. And then he sees her.**_

_**Ally's standing in the middle of the stairs, phone cradled between her shoulder and ear. She's digging through her purse as she animatedly chats to the person on the other line. He feels a smile slip onto his face, unbidden. Still a chatterbox.**_

_**She hangs up a moment later and sighs, running a hand through her hair before shouldering her purse once again. She finishes walking down the stairs then pauses. "Stop staring," she orders without even looking over her shoulder. She continues on her way, only looking at him when he's in her line of vision. He's surprised that she knew he was there, and she snorts at that. "Please, Moon. I'm quite sure I know when you're around."**_

_And maybe we got lost in translation_

_Maybe I asked for too much_

_But maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up_

_Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well_

_"No, that's not what the song means!" Ally laughs at Austin's (dirty) interpretation of her new song. He rolls his eyes._

_"Then you're no fun," he mutters. _

_"Hey!"_

_"Wow, that's gorgeous!" Ally gushes in awe, admiring a silver butterfly necklace. Austin rests his chin on her shoulder, looking over the piece of jewelry._

_"You want it?" He murmurs. She jerks a bit in shock._

_"Seriously?" She squeaks. He nods. She turns around and throws her arms around him. "You're the best boyfriend ever!" He laughs and hugs her back._

_**He remembers that day. That memory always warms his heart. And they had many more and would have had a lot more if he hadn't torn it all up.**_

-A & A-

_**Ally sobs, running away from Austin's apartment. She thought that they would be together forever, but apparently not. She's scared, now. She's scared that she did something wrong, that she made a mistake... that she wasn't good enough. She's scared that she'll never find someone who will lower their standards enough for her.**_

-A & A-

_Hey, you called me up again just to break me like a promise_

_So casually cruel in the name of being honest_

_I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here_

_'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well_

_**He sees her having lunch with another guy one day, and he can't help but feel jealous. He gets that feeling again- the one where he has no control over his body.**_

_**Next thing he knows, he's got a date with some blonde named Tilly, and he's calling up Ally.**_

**"Hello?" **

_**"Hey, Ally. Look, just thought you should know; I've got a date later. I don't want you to be caught off-guard if you see us, so... yeah." The good part of him is screaming in protest, angry that he's hurting Ally like that. But the other part shoves the good part of him away, relishing in the silence on the other end.**_

**"...Oh,"**_** she says in a small voice. **_**"O-okay. Th-thanks."**

_**He smirks, sadistically. "No problem." Then she hangs up, and he puts his phone down, satisfied.**_

_**On the other end, Ally can only stare at her phone, frozen. A tear slips down her face. Then another. Then another. And then she's sobbing her heart out because he just broke her heart again. She wonders if anyone will walk in and see her here, curled up on the floor, broken. Probably not.**_

_Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it_

_I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it_

_After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own_

_Now you mail back my things, and I walk home alone_

_**Later that night, while she lies in bed, she stares up at her ceiling, wondering where her life started to go wrong. Everything, every memory, every thought... It all seems hazy now. It's marred by a lingering darkness, and she doesn't know how to get rid of it. Maybe she'll be like this forever. Maybe she'll never go back to being sweet, kind Ally Dawson. Maybe she'll be this darkened version of her forever.**_

_**Her mind starts to wander, and she remembers one of her favorite memories from her and Austin's time together.**_

_"It's late, Ally," Austin points out, watching his girlfriend put on her coat. She doesn't respond, so he sighs and gets up, walking over to her and gently taking off her coat. She looks up at him, surprised. "Ally, stay."_

_She frowns. "Austin-"_

_"Ally, it's eleven at night. I'm not letting you drive home at this hour," he states, firmly. She sighs and reluctantly lets him sit her back down on his couch._

_"Fine," she mutters, making him grin. "So, I can take the co-"_

_He snorts, cutting her off. "Ally, don't be ridiculous. We can both sleep in my bed."_

_Her eyes widen, and her cheeks flush. "B-both of us?" He chuckles at her facial expression. She's adorable. _

_"We're dating, Ally. I think it'll be fine. Besides, we said we'd wait a while, didn't we?" He reminds her. She visibly relaxes and lets out a breath._

_"R-right. Sorry," she mumbles. He just laughs and stands up, beckoning for her to follow. He leads her to his room and flicks on the lights. "Can I borrow one of your shirts?" She asks, embarrassed. She's wearing a pretty tight black dress and leggings, so she'd like to get out of it. He laughs again and waves a dismissive hand. She sighs in relief and starts digging through his closet, looking for a suitable shirt. She picks a white and yellow plaid shirt and walks into his bathroom with it, quickly changing._

_When she comes back out, Austin has changed into a pair of sweatpants and light grey V-neck. She silently thanks God that he doesn't only sleep in his boxers. She kept on her tights to maintain her decency. _

_He turns off the lights and switches on his lamp instead; he then proceeds to climb into bed and pat the spot next to him. She shyly slips into bed next to him, and he smirks at that before turning off his lamp._

_He rolls over and pulls her toward him, making her squeak. He laughs, softly. "Good night, Ally."_

_She relaxes a bit and mumbles, "Good night, Austin."_

_The next day, they end up spending the whole day together, still wearing their pajamas._

_**Ally walks home alone from work the next day, tired. When she arrives at her apartment complex, she checks her mail slot and finds the key for the bigger boxes. There are actually a couple keys. When she opens up the boxes, she finds boxes crammed inside, all from Austin Moon. Her heart drops because she knows that all of her things from his apartment are inside.**_

_**But when she takes everything out, she doesn't find that scarf that she knows he keeps in his drawer.**_

_But you keep my old scarf from that very first week_

_'Cause it reminds you of innocence, and it smells like me_

_You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah_

_**Austin fingers Ally's old scarf that he pretty much stole from her. It reminds him of how they used to be: happy, carefree... In love. He lifts it up to his face and inhales deeply, catching a whiff of Ally's sweet scent. He's suddenly transported back to the day they broke up.**_

_"Austin?" Mimi asks in shock, staring at her crying son. He stumbles inside, and she quickly shuts the door, hurrying over to him. "What's wrong, honey?" She asks, concerned. He just drops to the floor, shaking his head remorsefully. _

_"I-I..." His voice shakes. "I... Mom, I-I ruined it." She understands immediately, and her eyes soften._

_"Oh, Austin," she whispers, hugging him. He sobs. "What went wrong?"_

_"I... I l-lost it..." He mumbles, shaking his head again. "Th-then I l-lost her..."_

_**He feels a tear slip down his face and slowly wipes it away. He strokes his thumb over the soft piece of fabric, knowing that he'll never get rid of it.**_

_'Cause there we are again where I loved you so_

_Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known_

_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_

She can't take it anymore. She never thought that she would ever do this, but...

She takes a pen and some paper and starts writing. She puts one letter in an envelope addressed to... him and puts the other one in her purse.

She drives over to her father's place, steals the handgun that he likes to practice his shooting with, and then drives back to her place.

She pauses then adds a picture to the envelope.

She lays the envelope and letter side-by-side and takes a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she undoes the safety on the gun and takes aim.

He gets the news two days after it happens. He remembers feeling numb and then breaking down. His mom, who had told him about it, cries with him.

A long time passes before they start to stop. His mom hands him an envelope addressed to him in her beautiful calligraphy.

_Austin_

He opens it with shaky fingers and starts crying as soon as he sees what's written on the piece of paper.

_I forgive you_

_Love, _

_Allyson Annabelle Marie Dawson_

She's there, watching him break down after reading her letter. Her eyes are sad. She wanted everything to be resolved before she left. Now they are.

"I'll be waiting." The words come out in a ghostly whisper. And then she's gone.

It's one day later that he does it. His family is devastated, and he's stayed to watch his funeral.

They put his letter in a cover and put it on his grave, and now he solemnly looks over it.

_I'm sorry_

_Love,_

_Austin Monica Moon_

He wrinkles his nose at his horrid middle name one last time. Then he turns on his heel and walks the short distance to Ally's grave. His mom had convinced her dad to have her letter to him put on her grave. The picture she had put in the letter, which he had almost missed because of his breakdown, is of them and only them. It's his and her favorite picture of them. She's sitting on his lap, wearing one of his plaid button-ups over a black tank top and skinny jeans, and he's wearing one of her scarves (long story, and, no, not the one in his drawer) around his head like a bandanna, a grey shirt, and ripped jeans. They're both smiling at the camera, and his arms are wrapped around her torso, never wanting to let go. He smiles at it before looking around one final time.

Then he leaves to find the girl he loves.

Ally patiently waits. She figures that she'll be waiting for him for a while, but that's okay. He's worth it.

So she's surprised when a very familiar voice whispers in her ear, "I'm sorry."

She jumps and whirls around, instantly greeted by blonde hair, golden brown eyes, and a plaid shirt. He grins at her, sheepishly, and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his dark wash ripped jeans, rocking back and forth on the heels of his blue high tops.

"Austin?" She gasps, jaw dropping. They only stare at each other; the only sound is the rustle of Ally's floral print black dress around her legs. "Wha- How?"

He shrugs and tries to smile. "Uh... Suicide?" She gasps again and stares at him, horrified.

"You weren't supposed to commit suicide!" She shrieks, eyes wide. "Suicide is serious, Austin! Just because I did it, doesn't mean that I wanted you to do it!" He winces and anxiously looks around for a distraction.

"W-well... Look, Ally," he sighs, focusing on the petite brunette. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what came over me the day I broke up with you. It was stupid, and you have no idea how much I regret it. I mean, you wouldn't have committed suicide if it weren't for me! I still love you," he confesses, making her jaw drop. "I know; you don't think I love you. But I _do._ Trust me. And I'm so sorry, Ally. Will you forgive me?"

Ally finally remembers to close her mouth and takes a deep breath. He bites his lip, nervously. "Austin, I already forgave you. It's okay. And..." She chews on her bottom lip. "I love you too. I still do."

A look of relief passes over his face before a huge smile dominates his facial features. "So... You'll take me back?"

She rolls her eyes a bit and smiles, fondly. "Of course, you blonde idiot." He grins and closes the gap between them, kissing her. She kisses him back, and they're both positive that they've never been happier.

When they finally break apart, Austin smiles at her and says, "Before we move on, I want to show you something." Curious, Ally nods.

He intertwines his fingers with hers and leads her back down to Earth. He goes to Miami then to a park almost exactly halfway to each of their apartments. He gestures to a tree, and she smiles, widely.

_In loving memory of Austin Monica Moon and Allyson Annabelle Marie Dawson_

His shirt she borrowed all those days ago and her scarf he stole all those weeks ago are fluttering from the tree, waving over the bouquets of flowers that are there.

They share a smile before heading back. Right before they enter, Austin smiles at Ally and asks, "You ready?"

Ally smiles back. "Definitely."

And then they walk into Heaven, side-by-side.

And though they remember their past all too well, their future is brighter and stronger.

_Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all_

_Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all_

_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_

* * *

**I'm a little uneasy about this because it mentions suicide and death, but I needed to plot it that way because it seemed important to the whole storyline. This doesn't follow the song's lyrics exactly because I had them commit suicide, but I still think it fits the song pretty well.**

**I know that this is kind of confusing, so if you have any questions, you can PM me or leave it in a review. I'll try to answer all of them.**

**~Hunter**


End file.
